I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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