Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
