I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
