I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
