Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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