i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
