and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
