I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
high people should be assigned attendants
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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