AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
and you fell through a lawn chair
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize