i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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