thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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