just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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