I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
