i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
