Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
