Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
