just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize