don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
