i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
