the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
