We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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