On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
