I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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