Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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(740): View more from Ohio

the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cherish every text you send me

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

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(301): View more from Maryland

did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

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(619): View more from California

im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.

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(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

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(636): View more from Missouri

It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...

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