Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
