My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
