Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
