the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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