either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
