new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
