I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
