wanna go halves on a baby?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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