Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Welp...herpes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
