when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
