OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
