the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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