great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
