Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
tell me about the fingering
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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