C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he thought i was a dude.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
