she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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