My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
