Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
