i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
