whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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