I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
