all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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