And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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