Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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