don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The adults are the big ones right?
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