Who did Billy Mays play for?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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