i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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