i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
