Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
