if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
