Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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