morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
