How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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