the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
