I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
