So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
