Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
