i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
