Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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