Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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